


Sunshine

by zeldagalz



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dont worry guys this is a somewhat obscure AU, EruJean - Freeform, Gift Fic, I dont expect anyone to understand this AU, JeanErwin, M/M, NSFW, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeldagalz/pseuds/zeldagalz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean just wants some closure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> This is a present for thatruskieyakattack on Tumblr! Merry Christmas, dude.
> 
> This AU is based off of a roleplay.

~~My Sunshine  
~~ ~~Dearest Jean~~  
Jean.

Enclosed in this large envelope is all of the letters you have sent me so far. They all arrived today, and it is with a heavy heart I return them all to you, sealed. No. I did not read any of them, because it is not right for me to.

 I'm sorry, Jean. I can not love you like you deserve to be loved. You deserve the world, you deserve... Everything. You deserve the top spot in New York for the best French cuisine in all of America. You deserve to be free and open and you deserve the ability to continue wearing your big, golden heart right on your sleeve.

 I cannot give you any of these things.

I can hear your voice right now, comically enough. The endearing French accent telling me that in good time, _in good time,_ I can be those things for you. That I can be your support system; your rock. Your encouragement on bad days, and celebratory partner on the good ones. Your lover from dawn to dusk, and dusk to dawn again.

I'm sorry, Jean.

I will not be any of those things for you.

Thirty-six years is a long time to wait. I ask that you do not wait for me, and you instead pursue other ventures, chase the sun toward other horizons like I know you will. You're a handsome ray of sunshine, but you must reserve your light for the ones you value most – your brother; your lover, should someone be so lucky to win your heart; your mentors. Your light does not belong to me.

Thirty-six years is a long time, but it is also my time. It is my time to heal and reflect, and to reverse the harm I have done to myself, and in the name of Charles Smith – my uncle. I have done him wrong, and now it is my time to do right by him. And it is time I do right by you. For both of us.

I do not love you, and for that, I am the most sorry. Your love for me is so unbidden, and I do not deserve an ounce of it.

My one wish for you is to move on from me entirely, as I begin my own processes of moving on from you, starting with this letter.

What we had was real. That much I know. But I also know what we had was not love. It was survival as we strained to achieve similar goals. I'm sorry for making that goal a dishonest living for one of the most honest men I ever met.

Live honestly. For yourself.

For Charles.

You taught me there is honesty in the world after I spent years believing the opposite in spite of my uncle's death. Live as honestly as you can, sunshine. I know you will be just fine.

Please begin your healing process as I begin mine.

Please do not send me another letter. I will send it back unread. I need this time for myself.

My parting words to you are two quotes; one is from a woman as inspirational as you are, and the other one is credited to my favourite author.

 

Goodbye, Jean.

Erwin Smith

 _“Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see a shadow."  
_ -Helen Keller

 _“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine.”  
_ -Morris West

 

_______

 

All of the letters contained in the overpacked envelope spilled out onto the glass table in front of Jean, fluttering down and rustling around, some falling to the floor. It was the only sound in the otherwise empty home. Marco had taken Aime to class, leaving Jean to his devices, and the morning mail.

He didn't exactly expect this. How could anyone expect such a letter? He knew what it was about, of course. It was because he freed Erwin and gave him a home.

It hurt to read those words. Jean took a shaky breath as he carefully folded the paper back up, and then cleaned up the mess of the unopened letters. He didn't understand. Was Erwin not pleased with the home he picked out? Sure, it wasn't much, but wasn't it better than jail? He stood up and decided to place the envelope in his closet to hide it from Marco. Was Erwin mad at him?

Slowly, mechanically, Jean got himself through his morning alone. He washed himself, fed himself, and dressed in some nice clothes before gently pulling his coat over his shoulders - a gift from Marco, no less. The words of the letter were burned in his mind like a painful stamp. He just didn't get it. Why was Erwin pushing him away? He didn't even really register he had left the house until his car engine roared to life, and his hands were putting the car in gear. He was only vaguely aware of the route he was taking; no, he wasn’t going to work. Rather, he was visiting an apartment he had just purchased.

He pulled in and parked in the empty lot, the black numbers of the condo somewhat out of focus as he stared at nothing. He came here for closure, he decided, and got out of his car. However, he quickly became disheartened, for all the lights were out in the apartment. He tried knocking, and wasn't given any sort of response. He looked at the door blankly, that painful sting back in his eyes.

Why did he come here? It's all for naught. Erwin just doesn't care about him. But how? They went through so much, how could Erwin turn from that?! As a last-ditch attempt, he decided to turn the doorknob, just to try.

The door opened. It was unlocked.

Jean couldn't resist. He stepped inside the apartment, the one he bought for Erwin, a new home for the man to leave jail at long last. It looked lived-in; Erwin was clearly using the place. But why would he leave the door unlocked? Jean slowly walked into the kitchen running his hand along the surface of the counter.

“What are you doing here?” A rough, tired voice asked. Jean looked toward the sound and found himself staring down a double-barreled rifle. Beyond the rifle, was Erwin himself. Jean couldn't help how he broke into a smile, fearless of the gun in his face.

“You are here,” he breathed. His comment must have taken Erwin off-guard. His aim wavered.

“How did you get in?!” He barked.

“It was unlocked,” Jean returned easily. Boldly, he grabbed the barrel of the rifle and pointed it away from his face, so he could actually get a good look at Erwin. He looked a bit rough around the edges, but it was something Jean had grown fond of. Erwin wasn't often clean-shaven, but he was today. He looked weary and battle-worn. He didn't even fight Jean when he moved his gun.

“Why are you here?” He asked again, in a sigh. Jean smiled at the gentle lilt in his voice.

“To see you. I wanted to know if you’re--”

“Did you not get my letter?”

Jean’s heart sank. “Well yes, but--” He paused as Erwin calmly pointed to the door, requesting him to leave. A lump formed in Jean’s throat, which he tried to swallow down with little luck.

“I only have one last request,” Jean croaked.

“Then say it.”

He let out a breath. “Kiss me one last time.” He didn't put a lot of thought into coming to Erwin’s condo, so this was also a surprise to him as well. However, this must be what his subconscious wanted if he spoke entirely from his mind, right?

Erwin was suitably surprised as well. He stared at Jean, a little dumbfounded. His letter was clear, yet here Jean was, asking for a kiss? What alarmed Erwin even more was how he considered the offer. “Why?” He asked dumbly.

“For some closure,” was all he said, throwing Erwin for yet another loop.

“Sunshine,” he murmured instinctively. Jean stepped closer at the same moment as Erwin, but this was a dance they were well-versed in; Jean with his arms draping over Erwin’s shoulders, and the older man caressing the other’s waist as their lips met. It was searing, burning and feverish as they desperately held onto one another, until they grew brave and let their hands move. Erwin slid his hands up the gentle curve of Jean’s back, re-familiarizing himself to this body with the shorter blonde’s moaned approval encouraging him further. They moved together, as Jean gently folded his fingers through Erwin’s hair to make him tilt his head just so, intensifying the kiss that much more with the addition of his smooth tongue running along Erwin’s. They moaned together at the contact they so desperately missed having. The taller man grew bolder still, and slid his hands down to Jean’s rear to grope and squeeze in his palms. With the flustered praise he received, he easily slotted a knee between Jean’s thighs, then held Jean still as he rubbed against the other, pleased to discover Jean was already half-hard from this alone. Jean gasped and broke the kiss.

“Bedroom,” was all he could muster. Erwin was happy to oblige, but he didn't want to let go. So he picked up Jean and carried him into his room, his kisses traversing south, down his neck. Jean keened at the attention, his legs wrapped tight around Erwin even as they fell onto the bed together. Erwin ran a slow, soothing hand along Jean’s leg in an attempt to make him let go, and it worked, the result making Jean lay himself out underneath the other, gazing up at him with his lips still swollen from the heated kisses and his neck slowly blooming with small bruises. The sight absolutely made Erwin’s mouth dry, and his cock twitch hard with interest, especially when he watched as Jean licked his lips slowly while eyeing him up. The taller one couldn’t help himself as he pressed his crotch down and rubbed against Jean’s, despite all the clothes in the way. But the way he _purred_ in response was well worth it.

“Want you,” Jean breathed shakily, staring up at Erwin with those big, needy eyes again. “N-Need you..” As if to show Erwin just how much need, he reached down and fidgeted with his belt and pants, sliding them down a little bit before easing his boxers down as well, unable to suppress the airy sigh as the cool air made contact with his hard, dripping dick. He was flushed a pretty pink, watching Erwin as if waiting for his approval, even offering a little roll of his hips that nearly made Erwin go cross-eyed in an effort to not come right in his pants.

“T-Take it off, all of it,” he demanded in a low voice. He sat up and unbuttoned his shirt while Jean frantically stripped himself naked. Once he accomplished that, he went straight for Erwin’s pants.

“Ah-ah,” Erwin warned, getting off the bed and stepping back. The whine Jean made in response was unreal, and actually made Erwin step closer in his stupor. Not that Jean minded. He grabbed Erwin’s pants and shucked them off as fast as he did his own clothes before Erwin even realized it, just a little too mindblown to keep his dominance intact. He stroked Jean’s hair and murmured praises as Jean settled himself right in front of Erwin’s now throbbing cock with a grin, like he was just given a piece of goddamn candy. With Erwin’s nod, Jean moved his head closer and dragged his tongue along the length of his shaft. He ran his tongue along his head, lapping up all of the precome and driving Erwin into a fit of pleasure. He let out a moan, now holding Jean’s hair tight as he tried desperately to not thrust his entire cock into that hot little mouth of his, now dripping with saliva and come as he gazed up at Erwin like an obedient little slave. Erwin could only manage a pat on his head before guiding Jean’s mouth back to where he needed it most. His brain was in a haze as that wild tongue of his stroked the underside of his cock as he slowly bobbed his head and worked himself up to taking all of Erwin in.

Erwin was huge, and Jean prided himself on how well he can handle him. It took some warming up to before Jean had the head of his cock at the back of his throat, and once he did, he swallowed around him, keeping his lips sealed tight. Erwin’s eyes crossed and he choked on a cry of pleasure. He’d give anything to just lay into him, fuck his pretty little face and make a beautiful mess of Jean, but he’d rather do something more. It took some effort but he managed to ease Jean off his cock, nearly whimpering at the loss of contact. Jean actually did whine in protest, eyes glazed over and staring wantonly.

“C’mon,” Erwin groaned. Jean keened again when Erwin put a hand under his chin, and easily accepted the taller blonde’s fingers into his mouth and over his tongue. Jean’s eyes fluttered shut as he suckled on Erwin’s fingers. As if to see Erwin’s approval, he reopened his eyes to gaze up at him, all while slathering his fingers with his own saliva. Deeming it enough, Erwin pulled his fingers away much to Jean’s dismay - again.

“Come on, please?” Jean begged, making Erwin chuckle.

“Patience. I don't want to hurt you, Sunshine. Lay down, yeah?” As Jean moved himself, Erwin moved with him, slowly crawling over him and gently moving his legs apart. It gave him a fantastic view of Jean’s cock, positively drenched in precome and arched against his stomach, and still untouched. As if the same thought occurred to Jean, he slid a hand down his own body in order to pleasure himself until Erwin grabbed his wrist.

“I-I want to touch myself, please?” Jean whined, his back arching with the sinuous roll of his hips, searching for contact of any kind. But Erwin didn't give in.

“No,” he responded simply. “I want to make you come just like this, you pretty thing. You look so good right now, so patient and pretty for me…” Jean cried out in desperation and struggled against Erwin. The man was beautifully wrecked, flushed from his cheeks to his thighs as he brainlessly thrusted into the air with his legs spread wide.

Erwin was weirdly proud that he could bring such a powerful man to ruins. But he showed some mercy with his spit-slick fingers to Jean’s entrance, gentle as he coaxed one finger in. The reaction was instantaneous; Jean keened and arched his back clean off the bed. His toes were curled and leg muscles stiff, the breath knocked out of him yet he still had it in him to cry out.

“Yes! Yes! Oh please, please take me,” he begged in his haze. He rolled his hips, gyrating against Erwin’s fingers with his mouth dropped open on a soundless moan. “More,” Jean begged, almost impatient, but so was Erwin, so he eased another finger in and curled them right against Jean’s prostate. Jean nearly screamed with delight, and probably would have if he had the breath to do it. Erwin was mesmerized by the man writhing under his touch, losing himself in the sight until Jean brought him back.

“Erwin!” He nearly shouted, his head tipped back as if to show off all of the dark hickeys from him. “Please!” He was still gyrating down on Erwin’s fingers, trying to pick up a good rhythm but just too fucked out to do it. Erwin removed his fingers and brought his attention to his own throbbing member, but apparently Jean was far too impatient. He grabbed Erwin, his grip hard as he dug his nails in and dragged the man right on top of him, rubbing his throbbing cock against Erwin’s hip with a stuttered cry, so desperate for attention. Erwin moaned as well, reaching his arms around each of Jean’s pretty thighs and hoisting them onto his shoulders, his own dick lining up perfectly with Jean’s entrance. Jean purred his approval, already anxious as he gazed up at Erwin. Their eyes met, not breaking contact once even as he dragged his mouth along Jean’s leg.

“Quit teasing me,” Jean begged. “Fuck, please? Erwin, b-babe..!”

That pet name sure did it for Erwin. Placing his hands on his hips, Erwin rolled himself into the tight, hot heat that was Jean and nearly cried out from it. Oh, how good it felt! “S-So tight,” he gasped. Jean was shaking under him, letting out ragged breaths as he submitted himself entirely to Erwin. When Erwin began his slow thrust, Jean was right there, rolling himself further onto his cock with breathless praises and stuttered moans.

Neither of them could maintain the slow pace. Erwin held Jean’s hips onto the bed and rocked himself hard right into him, the tight heat around his member driving him crazy. Jean’s blissed-out noises escalated considerably, holding onto Erwin’s arms as he was mercilessly fucked into the mattress, and he loved it. Drool was coming out his mouth and tears from his eyes. Oh he needed this, so badly.

“B-Baby, oh fuuuuuck don't stop!” He wailed. His body shook with the force of each thrust, precome dripping onto his abdomen as Erwin made a mess out of Jean entirely. He tightened his legs around Erwin’s shoulders, and came completely untouched. His stomach and chest was coated in his own come as he writhed with pleasure under Erwin. It felt unreal when Jean orgasmed, clenching tight around Erwin so hard it was almost impossible to move. The pressure was too much for the other, releasing his load right into Jean.

Both of them were a panting hot mess, Jean just barely managing to slide his legs off Erwin and Erwin pulling out and collapsing beside Jean on the bed. Neither spoke, the afterglow and heavy panting keep them quiet until Erwin looked over. He giggled madly like a schoolboy, And Jean looked at him.

“Why are you laughing?!” He looked almost insulted, but Erwin shook his head and smiled.

“You got some distance with that one,” he remarked. He poked Jean’s neck, where a small spot of jizz was starting to dry. The two of them started snorting with laughter like a pair of idiots. Jean rolled himself closer to Erwin, uncaring of how dirty he was even when Erwin pointed it out. He hummed and laid down with his head on Erwin’s chest.

“Cuddle now, clean later” he declared and closed his eyes. Erwin chuckled, idly playing with his hair as he laid back and relaxed as well.

“Sunshine..”

“Hm?”

“Stay the night?”

Jean giggled and snuggled right up to Erwin with content, with the closure he finally wanted.


End file.
